


A cure for my hunger

by Aint_no_slowregard



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Abusive Relationship, Addiction, Dominance, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Graphic Sex, Hurt, Mind Control, Submission, Violence, bad bdsm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:46:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25516744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aint_no_slowregard/pseuds/Aint_no_slowregard
Summary: Beauregard knew it was only a matter of time before her recklessness got her in trouble with someone dangerous. She just had no idea that that someone would vampire.Beau gets into a dangerous situation and is lead down a dark path with a controlling mistress. How long until the mighty nein find out? Will they be too late?Eventual Beau/Yasha relationship. Yasha is not the vampireRead the warnings, shits bad in here!
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett/Yasha
Comments: 5
Kudos: 54





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story covering aspects of addiction, coersion, abusive relationships, bad BDSM, mind control etc. This is written for me, not for you. If you have any triggers I urge you to read no further. Also there's a bunch of explict girl on girl sex. Don't likey don't read.

It started as a way to numb the pain. 

She didn’t have magic, she wasn’t a tiefling or a half-orc. Her weapons were her fists, and she was a human fighting at the front lines, she was always taking a beating- And that’s the way she liked it. Didn’t stop the broken bones and bleeding wounds though. Even between Jester and Cad there’s only so much healing to go around.

Then it became a crutch- a ritual. But she figured she had it under control, she could stop any time she wanted. She just didn’t want to.

Now?

She’s an addict. 

A different woman every night. Her body aches from her battle wounds just as deeply as her own body's need to be desired. To be in control. To feel wanted, not just needed. To get physical affection. To release…

At least, until the next time. It was like a pressure gauge filling up, and she tried everything to keep the tank from exploding. She’d train until she was bleeding and raw, barely able to stand let alone think. She’d service herself whenever she managed to get some time alone. Hell even mediating for long stretches of time. But it only scratched the surface of her itch. Before it was crawling under her skin and she needed her fix again. 

She couldn’t let the M9 know how weak she really was. She was useful for now, and as long as she stayed that way, they’d keep her around. Or maybe they’d figure out how broken she was and finally give up on her, be free of her holding them back. 

When you’re this reckless you figure you’re bound to run into trouble sooner or later. But hell, what couldn’t she handle? And if she couldn't handle it, well what did it matter. One night she was bound to run into someone dangerous. Who would have thought it would be a vampire?

\--

Beau knocked back another shot, the barkeep swiftly refilling on instinct. He’d been paid up well to keep the drinks flowing and a room open. Beau’s been here enough nights in a row now to know the rotation. Someone would approach soon, looking for company to spend the night with. And if not- she would go find someone to bring back, or drink herself into a blackout. From what she was wearing to how her body language was, the cut of her hair, she put out as many signals as she could about what gender she was interested in. Didn’t stop men from approaching, but after a couple bar fights on the first few nights, those came to a halt. 

She thought back about their battle today. Dragging Fjords limp body out of the way as the Knoll bit deeply into her shoulder. She wasn’t one to complain, but when his teeth sunk into the bone and made a sickening crack she had yelled out in agony and almost fainted. She dug her fingernails into her palm painfully, trying to block out the memory. Absentmindedly in the bar she rubbed at her partly-healed skin around the previously snapped collarbone. Her bruised fists and bloody face must have looked like a picture to the other residents at the Inn. 

With that Knoll almost getting the best of her and Fjord feared dead, she had felt that anger surge up, refusing to back down. She whaled on that scrounging mess of an overgrown dog with her one free arm until it was a nothing but a bleeding mess. Finally it was over, Jester came over to grab Fjord, Caduceus dumping healing spells into him. She had sat down heavily, pushing back the darkness in her vision as the adrenalin wore off. Feeding scared, powerless and useless to help her friend. 

“Might I join you?” 

Beau broke out of her daydreaming. She eyed to her left, a purple tiefling with straight horns out of the top of her head and pointed teeth looked at her expectantly. She was wearing a tight navy dress for her pear shaped figure- hips well rounded. Her blood rushed hot and her skin tingled as she thought about the delicious piece of an ass she would love to grab as she sucked on her long lavender neck. The demon inside her craving, needing to get some control back. To feel wanted, not just needed.

“Please do. Can I buy you a drink… ?”

"Serena."

"Beau." 

This is how the dance went. They made small talk and quickly moved upstairs. Neither of them were under the illusions that this was anything but a means to an end. On her way upstairs she felt her neck prickle like someone was watching her. She scanned her eyes over the bar and was met by a pair of bold amber eyes staring straight back at her, a knowing grin on her face. A shudder instantly went through her whole body with… fear? Whatever was with this woman there was an energy about her that made Beau nervous. There was something dangerous there. Beau scowled back as hard as she could, figuring she was being judged and tried to look tough. She didn’t care if people didn’t agree with her choices, she needed this. 

\--

Serena gave her a sultry look over her shoulder as she pulled Beau into the room. Beau quickly locked the door behind her and immediately advanced. One hand grasped her hip, the other around the back of her head and she pushed both their warm bodies into the wall. She felt a rush as the tiefling gasped with delight, sharp fingernails digging into Beau's back and their tongues danced. Beau started to tear open the front of her dress as her friend's purple fingers threw a discarded blue sash and jacket across the room. 

Beau lifted her up so her legs up around her waist and grabbed her ass pushing her further into the wall. She felt how soft and warm she was and a cinammon scent drove her mad. Serena sunk her pointed teeth into Beau's neck causing her to throw back her head and moan. 

She turned and threw them both onto the bed. She climbed on top, pinning her arms above her head. Suddenly she pictured Yasha there instead, grinning dangerously and alluringly back up at her, biting her lip. She closed her eyes quickly against the betraying image and kissed down her body. She let her guard down, imaging yashas sweet flowery scent with that edge of musk. Pretending the curves her fingers were tracing were the stoic angels. She sucked on one nipple as she fondled and pinched the other. Serena moaned deeply, grinding her hips up against Beau as she kissed and sucked. She roughly dragged her tongue over her nipple, as the tiefling shuddered in bliss. She looked down at her with heavy lustful eyes and Beau surged with confidence making her way further down. 

She stripped off the rest of the dress and underwear. Pausing for a moment to take her in as she stood looking down at her from the foot of the bed. She felt that surge in control, of being wanted as her body hummed with desire. She felt alive. Whole. Or at least, more whole. 

She knelt down at the end of the bed, draping the purple legs over her shoulders. She gently kissed her inner thighs. 

"ah fuck!" she moaned. 

"tell me you want me" ordered Beau. 

"yes, please--Beau" 

"tell me." biting down gently onto her soft thigh and played her fingers over her nipple. 

"Ah! Yes I want you, please-mm" 

Beau gave in. She pleasured the tiefling and they had fun together until the early hours. It took a long time until they were both sated. 

As the other woman slept, she laid awake. She didn't like missing these rare moments of peace, where she wasn't craving she could just… be. She got out to bed to look out of the moonlit window and wondered how much longer she could keep up appearances. She wondered how much longer she had before she said her final goodbyes to the nine. Probably not long at this rate. She looked back over to the bed and pictured yasha there, her black and white hair falling over the pillow. The demon inside her started to wake up as she felt disgusted with herself. She can't be horny again already… An ache in her chest demanded attention and she pushed the thought out of her mind

She quietly gathered her things and headed back downstairs to go home. Still slightly drunk, she entered the Inn the m9 were staying at. Yasha was waiting up for her. 

"Gods dammit Yash!" Beau exclaimed, "You're going to give me a heart attack. Why are you up so late?" 

Yasha scowled a little, but said nothing. She stood up and walked over to her. Her height made it easy for her to tower over Beau. Beau got a little lost in her stormy eyes and she looked deep into her own. She felt her skin tingle with the proximity and direct attention. She always smelt so nice, flowery with an edge, and like the smell after a rain. Beau started daydreaming about getting caught in the rain with her. Kissing her in the rain… Yasha looked at her for a long while, then flitted her eyes down to her neck, some eager tiefling bite marks and hickies still lingering. Her face flashed with concern. 

Beau felt her face go hot with embarrassment. 

"I don't need this judgement Yasha, especially not from you, I just want to go to bed." she roughly shoved past her. 

"Beau I just…" she stopped, and sighed. She took a long pause. "Forget it. I won't wait up anymore."

Beau didn't know why but she suddenly felt like she'd lost something. She felt like she needed to apologise but there wasn't anything to apologise for! 

"Yeah well good, last thing I need is a babysitter. I can take care of myself!" she spat unkindly. And stormed upstairs. As she lay drifting off to sleep, she was haunted by a pair of devilish Amber eyes. 

\--


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the fluff, angst and darkness coming soon.

"Right I'm heading out, see you all in the morning" Beau stood up and headed for the door. Most of the nein mumbled and waved her off, heading to bed themselves after a long exhausted day. 

"Beau wait-" Yasha stood up too. Beau looked over her shoulder at her, raising her eyebrow. 

"I could use a drink." she offered hopefully. Beau felt a twisting in her gut. I don't want you to see me like this Yasha, I need a distraction from you, from myself. That doesn't work if you're there. 

Beau turned around to offer something in the way of an excuse, but the assamirs face told her it wasn't really a question. 

"Ugh fine, but if I ditch you for some company don't get offended." she offered sharply. She needed to remember that Yashas was off limits, she wouldn't pull her into the mess that was her romantic life. 

They both drank heavily, laughing at each other's stories till late. Beauregard felt her defenses slip. She tried to keep this side of her hidden from everyone, especially Yasha. But she couldn't help it, couldn't keep it up around her. She had a way of breaking through her barriers. She was sweeter, steadier than anyone who she'd looked for attention from. Every time her warm eyes landed on her own she felt her heart give in a little more. 

"And then, he was so drunk, he accidentally ate the eyeball whole anyway!" Yasha finished triumphantly 

They both laughed heartily, drunkenly leaning against each other as they gasped for air. 

"He was puking for days!" she told through chuckles, shaking her head at the memory. 

As they slowly finished laughing, they realised they were quite close together. They each took a second to look at the other's faces, unusually close. 

Yasha noted the tiny freckles on Beau's nose that she undoubtedly hated, but Yasha privately thought it couldn't be sexier, and a small scar cutting through the side of her upper lip. She watched her bottom lip curl inward as Beau gently bit into it. She thought about what her lips would taste like as she day dreamed absently about being the one that bite that lip. 

Beau was also fantasising, looking around the edge of her sharp jaw, which held a multitude of tiny jagged scars. She absentmindedly thought about how many uppercuts have landed there as she resisted stroking her thumb across it to see what the skin felt like, to memorise the ridge of her jawline. She bit her own bottom lip gently at the alluring idea. 

Beau cleared her throat a little and tore her eyes away, taking a deep drink, while Yasha fought to hide a blush and did the same. There was a faint feeling of electricity in the air between them as they both took a breath they didn't know they were holding.

Finishing her drink, Beau side eyed Yasha. 

"You sure know how to tell a story." Beau breathed warmly. 

"Well, you're a very good audience." Yasha complimented back. 

Slowly as they remembered themselves Beau noticed her hand resting against Yasha's forearm. She quickly removed it and sat back up straight again. 

"So," she quickly cleared her throat, "What's your type Yasha? Come on there's gotta be someone here who's caught your eye?" beauregard gestured broadly across the bar. She took a quick note herself and noticed one or two stealing a glance back in her direction. One of them had a shock of Amber eyes that forced her more awake, she forgot to look at Yasha's reaction to her leading question as she felt a trickle down her spine. She didn't even hear her say:

"No there's… Really no one _else_ here I'm interested in." Yasha mumbled into her drink, eyeing Beau longingly as she distractedly looked over the bar. 

Beau turned her head back "huh sorry what did you say?" 

Yasha's confidence dipped. Zuella was really the one to make the advances, she wasn't really sure how to go about this stuff. She was a confident person at beheading and stabbing sure, but this was an arena she had little real practice in. 

"Er, no. No one really." she declared awkwardly, fixing her eyes on the table. The gentle fizzle of energy that they had built between each other the course of the night died out. 

She missed Beau's look of hurt, as she recomposed herself. Beau stiffened at that a little. She had to stop trying to flirt with Yasha, the barbarian had made it fairly clear she was still hung up on Zuella, hell she had made enough passes at her. Besides, she doubted she was even ready for anything of a longer term commitment and couldn't risk losing her favourite party member. She pretended for the sake of her ego that it was for the best, and what she wanted all along. 

But unconvinced, Beau felt her skin crawl a little, the rejection raising that beast inside her. She locked eyes with a pretty red headed half elf across the bar who smiled back at her. She felt that need to be in control surface again, to feel wanted. 

"Ah well you're missing out! Forgive me as I take my leave for the night. It was.." she stalled, wanting more time with her, she almost didn't say the next part but couldn't stop herself, speaking slighty softer as if she hoped her friend wouldn't hear, "It was really fun hanging out with you Yash."

Yasha's eyes snapped up to meet hers but they weren't looking at her, no one really called her Yash except Beau. She was particularly fond of that nickname, she grew hot at the way Beau said it in particular. There was a warmth to the sound of it that hit her ear just right, and goosebumps raised on her arms. She felt confident enough for another quick try.

"Actually Beau, I've been meaning to-" 

"Another time I'm afraid!" Beau interrupted cockily, "I've been summoned. She quickly made her way across the bar to a skinny red head who was beckoning her. Beau tried to get out of the embarrassing situation quickly into one she was more comfortable at dealing with. 

Yasha watched her flirt with the other girl. Lightly touching her hand, smiling, the girl laughed back warmly. Yasha gripped the iron mug so hard it groaned as it crumpled in on itself. What did she expect anyway? No reason for a charismatic, charming girl like Beau to look sideways at a brute like her. 

She downed the rest of her drink out of the crumpled mug, slamming it down. She left a few copper on the table, not taking her eyes off of Beau and the red head, she was now touching her hip and very close, both smiling cheekily at each other. Yasha made a disgusted noise in the back of her throat, striding to leave the bar. She felt a strange prickle down the back of her neck, like something was watching her. She quickly looked back at the bar patreons but didn't spot anyone looking her way. She shrugged it off and headed into the night, disappointment shrouding her.


	3. Chapter 3

Beau limped into the bar, clutching at a bloody shoulder. 

"Caville!" she shouted at the barkeep, causing all eyes to turn and look at her. She smiled cockily and wiped a little blood off her chin. "I'll be needing the whole bottle tonight."

She winked back at one of two watching girls around the room as she smugly walked forward to her usual bar stool. She threw 10 gold down on the table loudly to add to the pot

"Certainly Miss Beauregard!" Caville, a gruff human with a trim mustache behind the bar, quickly grabbed her a bottle of whiskey. "Do you have a good story tonight?" 

Beau smugly ate up the interested eyes she could feel on her as she downed three glugs out of the bottle straight, not giving a hint of reaction as it burned down her throat. 

"Do I?" she threw her head back and laughed, oh she felt good tonight. She was definitely in for some good company after this. She swung around half way on her barstool, a few new people had perched close by, most of the rest of the bar was pretending not to eavesdrop. 

"We were sent out to find a lost boy. Surprise, surprise, he'd actually been making friends with some rather hungry trolls up the mountain…" 

\--

Half the bottle of whiskey and an almost empty bar later, it turned out she had gotten far too drunk to enjoy anyone's company tonight. But they'll be back tomorrow and she was drunk enough that she couldn't feel the familiar itch. She peeled her head off of the sticky bar, checked her pockets. She hadn't been mugged at least. 

"closing time soon Beau." the barkeep shook her arm gently. 

"Mmm okay okay!" she grumbled, a smile still on her face. She thought back to the other night when Yasha was here. She grimaced slightly at her schoolgirl slip. See anyone you're interested in? The most obvious way to find out if someone liked you ever. She hoped Yasha hadn't noticed the poor attempt. What was she thinking anyway? Her mind quickly jumped to her and Yasha falling into bed together. She caressed her strong arms as they held each other tightly, safely, tenderly. She slid her eyes closed as imagined the stronger girl leaning over her. Her fair fell in a curtain down the side of her face, as she smiled wide. A smile saved for her. She bent down and breathily came close to her face. She felt her eyes close, her lips parting. 

"That was quite a tale earlier." a voice next to her spoke. 

In her drunken state, Beau looked around and took in quite a sight. A dark skinned beauty sat before her, afro hair thickly braided going to the middle of her back, beautiful Amber eyes lined in a thick winged paint, and full painted black lips. She wore elegant high waisted navy trousers and a loose white open blouse, she had one eyebrow raised alluringly in Beau's direction as she sipped daintly at her cocktail. She was adorned in some expensive looking jewelry, including a delicate choker around her neck.

"There's many more stories where that came from. Would you like to hear about them in my private room, miss…?" 

The woman seemed unfazed by her drunken flitting, leaning in with a smirk. 

"You'll know my name soon enough, but not tonight. You're too far gone, I prefer my conquests fresh. Besides, you're far too good of a treat to rush."

Beau watched her in confusion, not really gathering what she was saying. She slowly put two and two together and figured out where she recognised those Amber eyes from the other night. 

"Hey I've seen you before. You were watching me the other night." 

"Yes I'm glad you're finally remembering me. I've been watching you for a while… Beauregard." 

Beau felt a shot of adrenaline pump through her as she sat up straight, sobering a little. She breathed in deeply and the scent of lavender and honeysuckle filled her nose. It was alluring, enticing. Her body was reacting as if she was about to jump away from a loaded gun, but instead she wanted to know more, she wanted to touch, smell, follow this gorgeous woman. 

"Am I supposed to be flattered?" Beau asked archly, trying to surpress the odd fear she felt gathering. 

"You should be." She replied easily, the Amber eyes falling dangerously, "There aren't many who peak my… Curiosity." 

Beau groggily tried to put the pieces together but she was too drunk. She stood up from the bar, bringing the rest of the bottle with her. 

"I see you're trying to be all mysterious" she mocked "Hope to see you around then, I'm done for the night." 

The other figure stood up and leaned closer. Even drunkenly Beau could feel her body react incredibly sensitively as the woman lightly touched her hand on the table. She leaned in closer and whispered in her ear. 

"Come find me here tomorrow night, I'll be waiting." 

Beau blinked fast, trying to get her mind together. She was definitely too drunk for this. 

"Bye then." she said groggily, unceremoniously, and then stumbled home. 

-

The next morning her head pounded as she groaned, getting out of bed. She glanced over at the sprawled out blue tiefling in the other bed, she slept like a toddler. 

Beau stumbled downstairs and grabbed a drink of water, finishing it off. She ripped off a hunk of bread with her teeth and her eyes found Fjord, patiently waiting for her at the table to start their morning training. 

"Rough night?" he asked with a knowing smirk, "Good it'll give me a chance to finally get the lead."

"Psh, in your dreams, sailor." Beau grumbled, cracking her neck back into shape, "and just for that, we'll do a 5 mile ruck run too."

Fjord's composure slipped. "What, No- Do we have to?" he asked incredulously. 

"Have to? No of course not. Come on then, keep up." 

She shot out the door not waiting to see if he was following. During their sparring she was unusually fierce, but a little distracted. She kept thinking about that woman last night. It bothered her that there was something about her that scared her… It was definitely odd, Beau could face off against much worse things than a pretty, albeit mysterious woman every day. What the hell made her so special. 

The jumped over Fjord's lackluster attempt to feint a punch then sweep her leg, he breathed heavily under the morning sun. 

Beau also knew that her instincts weren't usually wrong, something in the back of her mind was telling her to stay away. But Beau never backed down from a challenge. Hell what was the worst she could do? Maybe she was a powerful sorcerer or something. 

Beau dodged easily as Fjord's shin flew just over her head. 

Who cares if she was dangerous, Beau reminded herself. She wasn't the type to run. Besides, the danger was annoyingly enticing. The masochist streak in her revelled in that rush of adrenaline. 

She let her guard slip thinking about the electric touch of her fingers over her skin, just as Fjord's fist buried into her untensed stomach.

Beau felt the wind knock out of her and cursed herself for getting distracted. 

"Shit Beau are you okay?" Fjord asked apologetically, it wasn't often he landed a punch unless they were specifically training for it. 

"Yeah- fine. My fault, I stopped paying attention."

Beau decided there was no real harm in a second visit as she stood up straight again shrugging off the impact with a satisfied smirk. 

"You're getting stronger, faster. Nice work." she complimented. The half orcs face tried to hide his excitement at the rare flattery. Beau chuckled to herself, 

"Don't get too comfortable there, it just means the training is going to get harder. Time for that ruck run." she shoulder her heavy backpack and tied it to her tight. 

Fjord winced and the smile fell off his face,as he too grabbed his bag. Beau could use blowing off some excess energy before tonight, she pushed pretty hard running through the forest trails for the next hour. 

-


	4. Chapter 4

"Jester?" 

"Yes Beau?" 

They both lay side by side on the bed, happy to chill out for the end of the day. In the early days of their journey Beau remembered being quite smitten with the Tiefling, as she was sure most of the party were. She assumed it was partly because of how fun she was to be around, coupled with her openness and acceptance of others. So many people in this world, herself included, we're so jaded by life's misfortunes. To have a bright shining light of hope and mischief and fun was a lovely change of pace. 

Beau mulled this over while thinking over what she had yet to say. She figured she'd divert the conversation before getting to her point.

"So what's the deal with you and Fjord now then?" 

She could almost feel the heat radiating off the Tiefling as she blushed, stumbling over her next words. 

"Oh my gosh Beau, well… Well you know nothings happened really! Nothing at _all!_ I tried flirting like you said I should if I liked him - which I still think I do! - but you know it's just not as easy as it is in the books, you know? It's always guaranteed the other person will like you back and then you have lots and lot of sex, get married and ride off into the sunset!"  
She sighed forlornly." I've been trying to put out hints still, you know, but I don't think he's interested. Or if he is he's not making any of the signs I've read about or seen on the faces of my mama's customers!" she grumbled a little,"It's really confusing Beau, I don't like it. I thought I knew who I was and what I wanted and everything was just going to click into place. Now I'm the same, but different--we've seen so much now! I don't know if I can trust that my feelings were ever more than a fleeting early crush of someone who only exists in my head."

Jester has changed a lot since we started, she thought to herself. 

" Well Jess, there's nothing wrong with not knowing what you want yet, it's why you need to try stuff out, figure out what you like and don't like. Besides, if Fjord's not interested, fuck him! There are plenty of people dying to be with you." 

Jester gasped dramatically, rolling over to look at Beau" Gosh do you really think so?"

"Oh I know so!" she teased. 

Jester lightly hit her arm, "Beau! Stop flirting with meee! I know you really like Yasha!" 

Now it was Beau's turn to blush. "Yeah well.. It's not reciprocated. You should've seen me make a pass as the other night! Nah I don't think it's going to happen. Guess we're stuck buddying up until we meet someone worthy our delightful selves!" 

"Fuck yeah!" she agreed. 

Time stilled for a nice moment between then as they both enjoyed the silent companionship. 

"Seriously Jess, anyone would be lucky to have you." Beau continued quietly, wanting to make sure her friend knew her worth. "Hell even this group just wouldn't be the same without you around. 

" Well you know a AM that awesome! " she confirmed. 

Beau let the compliment hang in the air for a little while before leading to her next question. 

" Jester… Can I ask you something odd?" 

"Sure Beau, anything! What is it?" 

Beau bit her lip awkwardly in anticipation, trying to find the words. 

"Let's say the Traveller promised you something you really wanted-" 

"Oh like a Cupcake!?" 

"Yes, like the best Cupcake in the whole world."

"Woah, okay?" 

"But to get the Cupcake, something you really want… You know in return you're going to give something in return." 

"Hmm, like what?" 

Beau thought for a bit, then continued slowly. "You don't know what it's going to take, but probably something else almost as important. And it also might hurt a bit, you know, to get the Cupcake?" 

Jester pondered for a second. "Well I guess if it's the best damn Cupcake in the whole wide world… ItIt's probably worth a little risk! You know me Beau, I'm always happy to take the gamble" she giggled. 

"Hmm yeah.. Roll the dice." she mulled finalising her decision. 

"Why Beau is there something you wanted to tell me?" Jester asked innocently, eyes wide. 

"Nope. I was just thinking about what I'd do for the best Cupcake in the world…" 

\--

Beau felt nervous, which was a first in a long time for her. She made a fuss over her appearance, which just meant putting a little musk on and making sure her clothes were fresh and her hair was slicked back. She faced herself in the mirror, daring herself to pull out. But she'd gotten this far, she'd gotten further than she'd ever expected to by a long way. If all that faded she was still way better off than she expected. If it blew up in her face well, she hadn't gotten as far as she had by standing on the bank. It was time to jump into the river again and see where the current took her next. 

She arrived at the bar and quickly found her mystery woman seated at one of the more private tables. The woman didn't glance up to meet her, but instead closed her eyes as if feeling her gaze, as if she knew she had entered without seeing it. 

Beau confidently walked over and slid into the booth.

"You should be flattered." Beau stated at her, "It's not often someone peaks _my_ curiosity." 

The woman smiled devilishly, finally sliding her eyes over to her. 

"I'm so glad you made it." she greeted, "It's a pleasure to meet you Beauregard. My name is Rosario." she extended a hand to be kissed. 

Beau thought of the gesture as odd but didn't mind playing a masculine role, she took the hand and gently kissed the back of it. 

"Believe me the pleasure is all mine." 

Rosario leaned in closer.

"Oh this will be fun." she purred, "care to join me upstairs? I'd prefer to get properly acquainted privatly."

"Thought you'd never ask. Lead the way." Beau motioned a hand out, then proceeded to follow after her up the stairs. She couldn't help that weird tingling of anticipation bottled in her stomach as she followed her upstairs. She gathered whatever she was about to experience was going to be a whole different ball park to what she was used to. 

They made it inside the room, and Rosario took off her deep red jacket, showing Beau a full glimpse of her backless dress. A hunger in Beau awakened and she started to get herself ready for what was undoubtedly coming next. 

"Beauregard, make yourself comfortable." she said, spinning to meet her. Their eyes locking as that thrill ran though her, "Get on the bed."

Beau stalled for time a little, thinking that even for her this was happening a little fast. "Actually if you don't mind, I'm usually the one who leads these exchanges."

"Actually...I do. Now I said.. _Get on the bed!"_

Suddenly Beau felt her body move against her will, she leant back against the bed, struggling with her own physicality. 

"What the hell?! No! Stop!" 

"Aw now there's my good girrrl." Rosario purred. "You look so good underneath me" she smiled wickedly, crawling onto the bed over her. 

The panic suddenly set in, what kind of sick game was this person in to? 

"This isn't right, you can't just force people to do something they don't want to do. You're sick! " Beau spat heavily, finding it hard to speak against the influence clouding her mind. Overwhelmed by the delicious scent of lavender and honeysuckle. 

"Oh Beau don't lie to yourself. Of course you want this. You want someone to look after you, to take control. You'll never admit it to yourself, but I'm giving you what you've wanted all along. Besides, I've never taken someone who didn't wish for it in my life, I don't plan to start now." 

Beau felt a rising panic, but also in the back of her mind a small relief, a sense of finally letting go. The demon inside her was pleased. She was off the hook, it wasn't her fault anymore. She could give in. She wasn't going to hurt anyone else like this. She was disgusted with herself. What kind of person gets aroused in this situation. 

Rosario leant back and laughed a little, sensually. 

"That's what I love about the fiery ones. The broken ones. You bound yourself long before this. In reality, I'm just giving you permission to be free."

Beau felt another rise of panic and lust, her body shaking in the effort to break out of this influence as she tried her hardest to glare and bit her tongue to hold back a moan. 

"You can't hide from me, Beau. I can taste your excitement, your pleasure."

Dammit she was excited, this was so new and strange and wrong, so then why was she more turned on than ever? Sweat gathered in her brow as she took fast shallow breaths. Why did this feel so bad but so good? Was it a magical influence or was this just her own misguided desires? 

" No. You're wrong. Let me go you fucking bitch!"

Rosario only smiled back. She leant over and pressed a deep, claiming kiss on Beau's lips. It was intoxicating, her body would have bucked and wrapped around her instinctively at the surge of pleasure if not for being held down. Beau felt herself respond, kissing back. But there was no doubt who was directing this exchange, it was an odd experience for her not being in charge, of not leading. It was so against her character it was exhilarating. She felt her mind shut off as her body started to be consumed, to give in. 

Her body ached painfully as the woman withdrew. She felt the heat inside her burn with complaint, renewed and stronger than ever. A cloud of lust over her senses, consuming. 

"Fine, you're free to go! But when you do come running back next time… I'll. make. you. beg." she promised slowly "and I'll punish you."

Beau felt her body free up again as she leapt off the bed towards the door, not turning her back. 

"Why the fuck would I do that?!" Beau spat, wondering why the hell she hadn't already bolted yet. Why the hell was she still here? 

“it's simple really… You have an endless thirst, just as I have mine, Beau. Just like me, there’s a cavernous hole inside your soul you’ll never be able to fill. The more you try, the more you’ll burden everyone else around you. It’s only growing- your thirst. I can taste it on you, in the air around you. It's delicious. You poor thing, you’re barely keeping the lid on- barely scratching the surface. Aren’t you tired, Beau? Tired of wearing your mask to hide the monstrosity beneath? Wouldn’t it feel nice to put down that facade? To not be judged for what’s underneath? Who else could love what’s festering beneath besides another monster?”

Unable to resist her own curiosity, she stayed still. Like a deer trapped in a daylight spell. 

"I am nothing like you!" Beau breathed weakly

Rosario started to approach again wickedly, her scent becoming overwhelming, her Amber eyes consuming. As she smiled Beau noticed her canines were longer sharper, her other teeth also had come to a point. She had read about this distantly in books from her time with the cobalt soul, of myths and fokelore… A vampire? 

"Beau… I was you. Now, I'm free. You've always thought you were special, well you were right. You're what I've been looking for. Come with me and I can give you what you'd desire. I can make you stronger, faster, more powerful. I can stop you aging and make you even more beautiful, flawless. We can be together and you'll never have to feel ashamed again for your desires. A little pain and discomfort is worth all that, no? Besides, what has your life been like up until this point but one long endurance of suffering? It's how I know you're strong enough to withstand what comes next." 

She was almost touching her again now, their bodies so closer. She parted her painted black lips slightly, leaning over her. Beau licks her own lips absentmindedly, looking over the edge into the abyss. 

"It feels so good Beau… Not to have to fight and resist every second of the day. You're so tired. You deserve this. Do you think the others could ever possibly understand? What the _hunger_ feels like? As it eats away at you? But you wouldn't have to explain yourself. Not to me. I want you just. As. You. Are." 

She finally snapped. Beau darted, out the door and out of the pub. She didn't stop running until she got all the way home. She reached for the handle of the inn and paused. Then she thought better of it, and ran to the woodland nearby. She punched a tree over and over with all her might, screaming in frustration. She felt like she was drowning, out of control. The pain sliced through the scent of the vampire as her knuckles gave out against the tree. She leant against it and sank down into it.  
'What the hell is wrong with me?' she asked into the night sky, as she held her broken hand and shook with effort to not run straight back, sobbing gently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love to know what you thought, please leave a comment, it keeps me going :)


	5. Chapter 5

It was a cold, quiet night, the leaves had started to shift orange on the trees as the days grew shorter. The air tasted crisp and the sounds of nature were unusually peaceful. Alone against the edge of the woodland surrounding the small village of Cadamere within the Meagerie Coast, a lone monk gently sobbed, curled into the knotted oak and clutching at her freshly broken hand.

She was shivering lightly as she tried to calm herself down, seemingly unable to catch her breath. She drank the air in short greedy glups, her heartbeat racing. Beauregard Lionett wasn’t a stranger to panic attacks, she’d had them many times in her younger years, but it was surreal to have them surface now. She absentmindedly regressed at the familiar childhood affliction and thought about her parents as she tried to calm herself. Her father was not the forgiving type, and either ignored her or shouted at her furiously. Her mother became increasingly tired and timid, regressing to her room and staying in bed often. An anger started to form inside her as her hand throbbed painfully, her breathing not slowing. 

“Be grateful for what you have, not mournful of how things should be.” The reproachful words of one of her mentors as the Cobalt Soul entered her mind.

The female monk shifted upright, she thought of the positive things in her life. She thought about Jester hugging her enthusiastically after they had been apart. She thought of Fjord’s annoyed face, as she playfully knocked his ass into the soggy dirt, that then broke into a laugh as they started a mud fight. She thought about her late night studying with Caleb as they enjoyed each other’s studious company and helped each other work out puzzles- which she hated to admit she rather enjoyed. She remembered Nott telling her off like a concerned mother should when her children stray into dangerous territory, and also being endlessly supportive in her quieter moments, it was the kind of matronly wisdom she’d never gotten from her own parents or teachers. 

_“Breathe, Beau, fucking breathe!”_ she whispered to herself. 

Caduceus bringing her tea and comfort, his warm smile endlessly accepting. Fjord calling her his first mate. Jester snoring gently in the corner. Caleb pretending not to laugh at her childish jokes. Yasha-

Yasha. Yasha’s stormy eyes with the far away look, somehow always smelling like wildflowers and the grass after the rain. Yasha holding her tightly after she was battered and bruised, not treating her like glass, but holding her so gently- like she wasn’t the fighter and bruiser everyone expected her to be, but like one of her flowers that needed to be treated with kindness and grace.

Beau felt her breath start to come in naturally again, as she smiled and leaned back against the trunk. She put herself in a meditative stance, crossing her legs over each other and taking a deep breath. She had some shit to figure out. 

-

Not far away, the winds blowing bitingly through the window, Yasha was dreaming. 

Standing at the edge of a mountainous cliff face, the rain poured down onto her face with vicious intensity. Looking outwards into the stormy seas the waves crashed with deafening sound, the salty spray on her lips. Lightning spiked down into the rolling ocean, brightening up the sky but for an instant.

Yasha looked down and felt her stomach drop as she stood directly on the precipice of a one thousand foot drop, the jagged rocks below being caressed by the surging tide far below. Yasha tried to step backwards to safety but found she couldn’t move them, like the souls of her feet were welded to the earth. She was stuck there with her body frozen, breathing heavily into the dark night. The winds picked up behind her back, pushing her balance even further out to the edge. She gasped in horror but no sound escaped and she leaned forward trying to get her balance. 

She felt her body shift as the ground underneath her was starting to crumble, small pieces of rock skittered down into the depths below. The lightning crashed, briefly lighting up the world and for just an instant she saw someone falling the way she was supposed to have gone, hurtling down the cliff face in front of her. She heard their scream echo as they became smaller and smaller in her view. She reached out in front of her, her hand extending uselessly towards the victim, but she stayed there frozen, petrified. 

A moment after she lost view of the figure, the rock underneath her gave way with a sicking crack. She was suddenly tumbling forward, the world spinning around her, sky, earth, sky, earth. She rightened herself just as the ground came surging up to meet her. 

She awoke with a start, breathing heavily. She tried to remember elements of the dream as she found the comforts of her room at the inn appear, but it was already becoming lost to her, slipping through her fingers. She swung her legs out of bed and rested at the window sill wearily, looking out into the night. Was the storm lord calling her off again? She guilty hoped not. 

There was no storm present though, just darkened clouds on the otherwise peaceful night. She shook her head gently, and went back to the comfort of her warm bed, this time falling into a deep dreamless sleep. 

-

“Hey are we still on for training this morning? You weren’t there beating me at the ass crack of dawn so I went back to bed.” Fjord asked of Beau, who looked back blearily.

“Nah we're skipping training today, Caleb mentioned wanting to take on another quest so we’ll likely need our energy.”

Beau sat and ate heartily of the breakfast the inn had prepared for them. Yasha and Beau’s eyes met across the table and each thought the other hadn’t slept much, then felt embarrassed at the other’s judgement and looked away. Yasha’s eyes looked down into her own foot bowl before glancing back. There was something off in the way Beau was sitting today. She quickly scanned her body looking for signs that confirmed this and her eyes rested on a bloodied hand with one finger bent at an odd angle, the knuckle a horrible purple colour.

“Beau your hand. Did you hurt it?”

The monk quickly withdrew her hand from the table out of sight.

“It’s nothing, just something I need Caduceus to take a quick look at this morning.” She answered quickly, not meeting her eyes. "What's the plan for today then?" she diverted

Caleb looked up from the book he was reading, “Ja, I’ve already asked about. The innkeeper was kind enough to update us on the job postings available. The only one worth our time was a hunt for a creature that’s been causing some farmer’s a lot of trouble. They’ve whittled it down to one cave that it hides in, but they weren’t very descriptive about what it was. Mentioned it looked like an overgrown lizard, but no one has seen it up close.”

“Oh that sounds fun! Maybe it's a dragon!” Jester remarked, doodling dicks on the table.

“No it does not!” Veth retorted, “I know we’re supposed to be laying low here while those people lose your scent but we have enough gold to live comfortably, why risk it?”

“If I don’t get to punch something every few days I spontaneously combust.” Beau quipped, “Plus it’s not like there’s anything better to do, might as well leave this place better than we found it right?” 

“Beau’s right,” Caleb nodded slowly, “Although unnecessary risk isn’t my option of choice, we should be taking opportunities to improve our skills. We have made some very powerful enemies, I wouldn’t want us to be short-handed when the time comes…” He drifted off, but his eyes darkened thinking about one person in particular. “Wouldn’t want to get rusty and let our guard down. Right now these people could kill without breaking a sweat… ” He said to himself more than anyone else.

“Fine, we’ll leave soon then. If it’s off in a cave it sounds like a fair trek, eat up everyone.” Fjord convinced everyone. "An overgrown lizard, how much of a threat could that pose to the Might Nein?"   
\----


End file.
